


Enthralled

by Stiles-Novak (riverdells)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural, Jimmy feelings, Vessel Fic, Vessels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-10
Updated: 2012-09-10
Packaged: 2017-11-13 23:54:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/509134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riverdells/pseuds/Stiles-Novak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Castiel returns to heaven, and Jimmy is back to normal. His reflections upon being a vessel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enthralled

    I, Jimmy Novak, was unfortunately special enough to be called upon by heaven to be a vessel.

    It’s amazing, really.

   The whispers in my head while harboring this being, the thrown together Latin and the smooth noises that are Enochian. The spring coil feeling of being a windup toy. The amazing sight of the swirling too-bright pink mass that is Castiel, which I ask too see whenever I can, amazed by him. He takes down the mental wall separating us and bares himself, revealing everything to my minds eye. I am enthralled by the being in my skin. At how powerful he is, the immense pressure he creates between my shoulder blades where I can practically FEEL his wings trying to just bust out, rip through bone and muscle and skin to flap and stretch. Smash out of their human meatsuit, and free themselves.  It’s like being attached to something big and bright and overwhelming. No way to control it, just go along and marvel. I cannot even understand why I was chosen for this, for the greatness and the unbelievable pain of helping Castiel. Every cell, every bone, every muscle, every nerve is full. I feel inflated, every part of me occupied by a celestial being and ready to burst. My body is stuffed beyond capacity with light and holy fire, too much for me to even guess an amount.

    Castiel said there would be greatness, and he was right. My body moves with a grace Idon’t possess, the total control he has over me astounding. Castiels true form is beauty, a human like mass of baby pink light, gigantic wings the would easily fill a room. They are gorgeous, a full 40 foot wingspan, downy and bright, but immense muscle power and bones stronger than steel lurk underneath their beautiful exterior. He has elongated spindly legs and arms that bend in impossible ways, fingers that are long and delicate. His head is adorned with a golden halo, and his eyes are as blue as my own. His true voice, while a pain, is also soothing, the Enochian a language much like running water. There is the ease of giving up my body to something with divine purpose and sinking into the furthest retches of my mind. 

    But Castiel also said there would be pain, because along with all this greatness, it hurts. My body aches, must look like a balloon too full, always ready to explode but never able to. All of my muscles are coiled way too tight, so wound up I’m sure I’ll never be able to relax again. Wings contorted and collapsed, trying to fit in a too small case of flesh. Legs and arms and heads trying to squeeze themselves into my body and stay. Castiel’s true voice commanding me, while being the most beautiful thing I has ever had the pleasure to hear, is also too beautiful for me to comprehend. It just wears on my brain and makes it hurt, overspent. 

    After Castiel left, I was completely thrilled. The pain was over, the angel was out. But through the happiness of being done with this specific comet was a dull ache. A raw space where Castiel’s voice used to be, a deflated feeling. My own flesh feeling too big and loose, a pressure missing from my back. Like some part of me I hated, but had nonetheless, was gone. Sure, I may miss Castiel a little, but not enough to ever hold him again. Being a vessel is like being an electrical socket. A conductor for something larger than yourself. 


End file.
